New Blog...again....

I'm now at,

http://jeffrossman.wordpress.com/

Check it out.

Awww

My poor, neglected "amusing musings" blog. I've got to post something.

I weighed in at 210 lbs this morning. I haven't posted my weight in a while because...well...it hasn't changed in a while. At least I'm not gaining! I guess 26 lbs down from where I started isn't too bad. I'm hoping to lose the love handles soon though! Sheesh!

I've been real busy lately. Work from 8-5, then on Tuesdays I have Life Group, and Wednesdays I have church (though I haven't gone to Wednesday nights in awhile). My sister's wedding is a week from this Saturday - it's so weird that my sister will be married.

I'm still waiting to hear from Christ Life Church in Tempe. I sent them off a "demo" the other day so they could see where I am musically. I'm scared about it, honestly. I worked for a week trying to put something good together, and everything felt like crap. So I emailed the Associate Pastor there and told him that I was working on it. He said, "Just send whatever you have." So I did, and I think I regret it. We'll see.

Church is good. We're about 2 or 3 weeks away from moving into the new building, which will be very exciting. This week we had our first College/Career meeting. It consisted of the Pastor, Reggie (the adult who will lead the group, I think), a girl named Rachel, and myself. It was kind of cool, though, because it really became a planning meeting, of sorts. We talked about what the College Group should look like, what kind of things we would do. It was fun.

Ping Testing...

@fb Let's see if this works...

Ping testing...

What's up with my brain?

So here's the story...

Monday or Tuesday morning before work, I was doing my email/internet surfing thing, and I decided on a whim to stop by www.youthspecialties.com and look at their job postings for ministry positions. To my surprise, there was one position that really intrigued me. It was a surprise for many reasons. Allow me to share those reasons with you:

1. I wasn't expecting to be interested in a "church job" this soon.
2. It's in Tempe, which means, if I were to be offered the position, I would have to move back to Phoenix.
3. It's a big church (probably 2,000-3,000 members, if not more).
4. The position itself is something I've never felt drawn to before, but now all of a sudden it sounds interesting.

So, what's the position, right? "Worship/Creative Arts Pastor." Obviously, some of my talents would insist that I would be interested in this field of ministry, but I've never actually wanted to do this kind of thing as my job before. I'm still a little unclear as to whether they are looking more for a new "front man" for the band, or for a person to coordinate and oversee the whole worship/creative arts department at their church (though it sounds like the latter). If they want a front man, I'm probably not the guy. Instrumentally I think I can cut it, but not so much vocally. I have a decent voice, but not a great voice.

One of the main drawing points to this church, for me, is the fact that their theological leanings are very similar to my own (which is honestly kind of rare). Furthermore, often people who share my particular theological leanings (that is, Oneness Pentecostal) tend to be kind of old-fashioned in their approach to ministry, and sometimes a little exclusive, which annoys me greatly. I like cutting-edge ministry, and I feel that theology is one of the stupidest reasons for churches to divide. This church appears to have similar ideas. That excites me.

What sounded so interesting about the position to me, was the simple fact that before Hope Chapel and I parted ways, I was finding great pleasure in the process of planning services, looking for new and creative ways to do corporate worship, fine tuning things like lighting, sound, media, etc., and this appears to be exactly what this church is looking for.

So, I sent a resume. They want to meet me. We'll see what happens.

Praise God!

So, I finally heard back from the HR lady at La Frontera, who had caused me to question whether I would still have a job this week. The president of the school I graduated from and she finally got in touch, and she said that I was all set. Praise God!

When I talked with her yesterday, she said (without saying it), that she was going to turn a blind eye to the fact that the accreditation status of my degree was a little sub-standard. She said something to the effect of, "All I need is verification that you were awarded a degree." So, I get to keep my job, and since I got everything out in the open, I can go on with a clear conscience, not worrying that soon they will discover that I'm not truly qualified.

What did I learn from this?

Honesty really is always the best policy. I really felt a wonderful peace from God when I decided I was just going to lay it all out on the table for them, and then let the chips fall where they may. I knew there was a possibility that I would lose my job, but I knew that God would honor my obedience. As it turns out, He honored it even more than I expected! I basically did everything I could to give them a legitimate excuse to fire me, but they didn't. God allowed me to keep my job. God is an awesome God!

The Mightyrandomthought #5

Yesterday there was a dead bug outside my office - it looked like a cockroach or something. The first few times I passed it, it was on it's back. Then, around 11 or so, I passed it again, and it was on it's belly. Then an hour or so later I passed it again, and it was on it's back again. Then, around 2 o'clock, I passed it again and there was this swarm of tiny ants all around it, most of them crowded right around its body. The next time I passed that spot, the cockroach was gone. Rest in peace cockroach.

Interesting Turn of Events

Last Thursday I received an email from the HR Generalist at work. In it she said she was attempting to verify my degree, but was having trouble finding any contact information for the school, and asked if I could help. So I looked - for sure, there is not even a hint of a website for the school I graduated from. It's a very small school, so I guess it's not completely surprising. So I had to email the nice HR lady back and say, "I'll have to get back to you on that one."

So over the weekend I tracked down the number for the President of the school, and had a little chat with him...Let me back up a bit...

When I graduated from Freedom Seminary with a B.A. in Biblical Studies, I was told that the school was not yet accredited, but was working toward accreditation, that they were in the tail end of that process, and that when the process was complete, I would be grandfathered in. Since I had spent the previous two years at a non-accredited Bible School, the prospect of a school accepting all those classes toward an accredited degree sounded great! I knew it wouldn't be a prestigious degree, but what do I care?

So, over this past weekend I spoke with the President of the school to let him know that someone might be calling to confirm my degree, and while on the phone I asked him where the school was in the process of becoming accredited. I wish I could say I was surprised at his answer, but I wasn't. They're still in the process. According to him, the big thing that is standing between them and accreditation is some specific type of external audit that takes a couple of years and costs $25,000. Needless to say, this small school doesn't have $25,000 sitting around.

Long story short, I have to go in to work today and tell them that my degree is from a currently non-accredited school. Chances are, this little revelation will cost me my job.

::Surprising spiritual twist::

Since Thursday I have had a knot in my stomach about the whole thing. Then I went to church on Sunday. The pastor preached about faith, and about trust. The title of the sermon was "Focusing Your Faith." The worship was wonderful, and I felt wrapped in God's presence. Then the sermon just brought me to a wonderful place of calm trust, that whatever transpired with my job, God was going to take care of me. I just had this wonderful peace that I was in God's hands, and in His plan and nothing was going to change that. God is awesome.

A few more reasons why I love my church...

Went to Home Group last night. They asked me to lead some worship for them before the discussion. We sang 'Open the Eyes of My Heart,' 'Indescribable,' and 'From the Inside Out.' Even though we were a small group, maybe 8-ish, everyone still worshiped with all their hearts, sang out loud, etc. And that's reason #1 for this blog...The people of my church are true worshipers. It's not a Sunday morning thing for them, whenever worship is happening, they are fully engaged. Awesome.

The other thing I love, which I also noticed from last night's meeting, was how everyone is genuinely committed and totally sold-out for Christ. I was so convicted last night by this older lady who shared about how she had hired a young man to work for her (I don't know what she does). She said that she got angry at him because he was texting the whole time, and not really working. She said that she got kind of short with him, and was mean, and sort of yelled at him. Here's what impressed me...This woman started crying. She talked about how the Holy Spirit had convicted her as she realized that she was not being Christ-like in front of this young man. She said she knew that he couldn't see Christ in her or in her attitude or actions, and it tore her up. So she called him and apologized...

This whole scenario last night showed me what it looks like to be totally sold-out, totally committed to holiness. This woman did something that probably most of us would do, and we would justify ourselves afterward. This woman had a very soft heart, and was troubled by even the slightest straying from the path of holiness. God, make me like that. Better yet, help me to imitate you, Lord.

Furthermore, everyone had incredible insight into the things we were discussing, everyone was engaged, everyone was participating, everyone had both Biblical knowledge to share, and personal experiences that added so much to the discussion. It's been a long time since I've been to a discussion-type meeting that was so edifying and uplifting.

I love my church...

Ugh...

Had my first RIDICULOUS day at work yesterday. The morning wasn't so bad, but then I was asked to do an intake around 11 (just so you know, Case Managers really aren't supposed to do intakes, but the intake team is swamped lately, so we get to do some of their work for them). The intake took about an hour and a half, during which time I received a call from someone at the hospital - a client of mine is there, ready for discharge, wanted to know what to do with her - the client was assigned to me late the previous afternoon, how the heck do I know what you should do with her?! I tell her I'll call her back. Then another client is waiting for me in the waiting room (a walk-in), so I meet with her. She's got legal issues up the wazoo, and basically want's be to write a whole bunch of stuff for her to help her case, problem is, that's not my job. Oh, and she has a SERIOUS case of ADHD (I'm not being facetious here) and so has no ability to stay on topic. While I'm with her, another client comes to see me. This one is homeless as of today, and wants me to help her. I take a break from the first client, speak with the second (it's now about 3:30). Oh, but before I do, I have to call the hospital lady back, just to tell her that I don't know anything. So then I talk to this homeless lady, who brought about 6 huge bags full of stuff with her. She asks for a ride to the shelter, 'cause she can't carry all her stuff. I hesitanly agree, then I tell her to scram for a bit so I can finish with this other client. So she comes back in - talks a million miles a minute about - everything - I finally get her out of my office. It's 4:30. I jump in the van with the other client, drive her to the shelter, there's no one at the shelter, but I leave her there anyway (because at this point, I don't care). Rush back to the office. And then I go home.

I went to bed at 8 o'clock last night...

Today's weigh-in

Nothing too impressive. 212.4. It took me about a week to lose six tenths of a pound. Sheesh! But on the bright side, my weight is still going in the right direction. Even if I'm losing slowly, I'm still losing.

Sad but True...

The mental health field is an unusual one. The longevity for someone working as a Case Manager is, on average, something like six months. The ones who stay longer usually become supervisors. I'm back in this field again after about a three-and-a-half year hiatus, and when I tell people that I worked as a Case Manager previously for about a year and a half, they usually seem pretty impressed. Even my direct supervisor (who was just promoted about two weeks ago - the same time I started), has only a year of experience.

Three other new Case Managers started with me (and that's just our site), there were two who had been working there only two weeks when we started, two people were working their last day, and we're expecting at least one new Case Manager on Monday - if that gives you any sort of indication of how often things change in this field.

In fact, the field is always changing and evolving, and then de-evolving, and then going back to the thing it started with, then trying something completely different, so those three years away mean that there's a steep learning curve for me.

However, it's nice to know that after about six months, I will probably have a good chance of a promotion if I were to apply. Which, of course, I plan on doing.

Weigh In

I weighed in at 213.4 this morning - 23.2 lbs lost since I started in late June/early July (I can't remember).

I haven't been at this weight in like 5 years or something. Goal weight is 175, which means about 38 lbs to go.

A few more reasons why I like my new church...

WORSHIP:

1. There is total freedom of expression. Some people dance. Some people shout. Most lift their hands. And EVERYONE participates. (And by the way, there is no judgment on the person who chooses to worship without these expressions).

2. I can barely hear myself singing during worship - not because the music is so loud, but because the congregation is so loud!

3. Talented musicians, who play EVERY Sunday, and EVERY Wednesday without fail. No rotation. That's serious commitment.


PREACHING:

4. Solid, Biblically sound preaching.

5. The pastor is not afraid to challenge his congregation.

6. The preaching is enthusiastic and engaging.


THE YOUTH GROUP:

7. This church is about 1/2 the size of my previous church, and the youth group is about 3 times as big.

8. When I heard a few of the youth testify, it was clear that there was a depth of faith in them that is unusual among their peers, and it inspired me.

9. The teens always worship with all their hearts. Lifting hands, dancing, etc.


OTHER STUFF:

10. The pastor has a cool accent.

11. You can tell that God is moving in this church.

12. They're in the process of putting up a new building.

Relieved

Went to church today. It was good. No prosperity gospel crap. Good message. I was able to connect with a few people. I'm happy.

People noticed me the first two times I came, but didn't bug me (this is how I like it). One person remembered my name this Sunday (I was impressed). I got invited to a couple Home Groups. One guy invited me to lunch with him and his wife next Sunday. The pastor greeted me warmly and sincerely thanked me for visiting. I think I'm going to like this church.

The Mighty Randomthought #4

Answering cell phones.

It occurred to me the other day that I've developed a slight apprehension when answering a call on my cell phone from someone I don't know. I'm so used to knowing everyone who calls, and being able to see before I pick up who it is that's calling, that when an unknown number pops up, I'm like, "What do I do?!"

I do remember the days when you never knew who it was that was calling. Every time you answered the phone was a crap shoot. But it's been so long since those days, that I now experience a certain level of anxiety (slight, mind you) when I pick up the phone for an unknown call.

The other interesting thing, is that I've sort of reverted to that childhood difficulty of trying to figure out the right thing to say. Am I supposed to be businesslike, and say something like, "Hello, you've reached the Rossman residence"? For the last 3 years my cell phone was paid for by the church, and so I would always answer with a sort informal-yet-still-somewhat-businesslike-script: "Hello, this is Jeff." But now, I'm so used to saying, "Hey Scott," or "What's up Crystal," or whatever that just saying "hello," seems totally insufficient. What's more, I notice that I do it with an almost horror-movie-style questioning. I feel like I sound like the stupid teenage girl walking down the creaky stairs into the dark basement where she just heard a noise, and says, "Hello?" My "hello," voice sounds like a timid, slightly afraid person who's not quite sure there will be anyone on the other end to answer. Stupid technology...

Weight Loss Adventure

I weighed in at 216.4 today - 20.2 lbs! I haven't been below 220lbs in quite a while, so it I'm feeling pretty good about this. I've been cheating some, lately, too, so it's extra surprising that I continue to lose weight. I think being back at work is helping greatly, because I don't have the opportunity to be snacking all day long...

Book-a-Week challenge

So, I've been nowhere near 1 book per week, but I did just finish a book this morning. Lee Strobel's THE CASE FOR FAITH is an incredible book! Strobel is an athiest-turned-Christian, who made the decision after examining all the evidence for (and against) the truthfulness of the claims of scripture. Then he wrote a book called THE CASE FOR CHRIST.

THE CASE FOR FAITH tackles what he calls, "The Big Eight," which he calls the "soft spots" of the Christian faith. These eight questions plague Christians and non-Christians alike. The Big Eight are:

1. If there's a loving God, why does this pain-wrecked world groan under so much suffering and evil?
2. If the miracles of God contradict science, then how can any rational person believe that they're true?
3. If God really created the universe, why does the persuasive evidence of science compel so many to conclude that the unguided process of evolution accounts for life?
4. If God is morally pure, how can he sanction the slaughter of innocent children as the Old Testament says he did?
5. If Jesus is the only way to heaven, then what about the millions of people who have never heard of him?
6. If God cares about the people he created, how could he consign so many of them to an eternity of torture in hell just because they didn't believe the right things about him?
7. If God is the ultimate overseer of the church, why has it been rife with hypocrisy and brutality throughout the ages?
8. If I'm still plagued by doubts, then is it still possible to be a Christian?

I think every Christian (every person for that matter) has struggled with a least a few of these questions, and Strobel tackles them all by interviewing various scholars, experts, etc. The interviews he does are very honest and straightforward, if not sometimes a bit heady (these are tough philosophical questions). Sometimes the answers are a little unsatisfying - this actually made me like the book more. God doesn't wrap everything up nicely with a pretty bow. But ultimately I think every chapter contains valuable information and insight for the tough questions of the faith.

I give it two thumbs up. Go out and buy it. Or take it out from the library. Or borrow it from a friend. Just read it.

A Little Better

So work has been...umm...interesting...this week. I still don't have a desk, or office, or computer, phone, etc. Usually I would think this would be something they figure out before the new people get there. But so far, none of the four of us who started last week have a space to do our work. The side-effect of this is simply that we are incapable of DOING OUR JOB!

Well, today, we got our keys, and so now we actually have access to the buildings and don't need to ask other people to open doors for us. I attended a staffing today, which made me feel like part of the team - that was a nice change of pace. Hopefully tomorrow I get an office....

A little disappointed :(

So church today was ... alright. I re-visited the church I visited last week. I had a WONDERFUL time there last week. The worship was fantastic. The message was convicting and challenging.

I was a little less impressed this week.

The worship was still very good, but only a few minutes into the preaching, and I was starting to get nervous. The first thing he said that I flatly disagreed with, was a statement that basically said that when we preach the gospel to someone, and they don't embrace it, it's because we did something wrong. He said, "If they knew what we knew, they wouldn't be able to stay away!" The only problem: even JESUS did not have a 100% success rate, and I don't think we're willing to say that He screwed up! Jesus clearly said that "some seed fell by the wayside." Sometimes we preach and it has no effect, it never takes root. It sucks, but it's the reality of it. Not too long after that, and he was heavy into the Prosperity Gospel. He basically said that the thing that would look appealing to unbelievers about the gospel, is if we are living in perfect health, having all our needs met financially, and having every relationship in perfect working order. He said that this was what Jesus meant when He prayed, "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." And that's basically where he sat, and the platform he preached from for the next 40 minutes or so. He made some wild claims along the way - that Job sinned in his thinking and brought all those things upon himself - that Jesus was extremely wealthy (umm...Matt. 8:19-20).

The only good news...this wasn't the pastor of the church (he's in South Africa), this was the pastor's father-in-law. So, I haven't given up yet! I still believe this is a good church. I surely hope that this isn't a frequent topic in this church. I am being reminded of the many reasons I kind of distanced myself from Pentecostalism in the past.

::sigh:: I'm disappointed...

Shucks

It was the scale...I had a cup of coffee then gained about 10 lbs!! Haha! 224. Up a little bit. I guess I've got some work to do...

Surprised

So, I weighed myself this morning - 214.2 lbs!! I'm not exactly sure how that happened, and I'm almost skeptical that my scale is going screwy, but until I find that out, I'm pretty happy. That's 22.4 lbs since I started six or seven weeks ago!

The Church is Ahead of the Curve

I had an interesting experience yesterday while at an all day training for my new job. It was sort of an Orientation/Training, and so a lot of what we talked about was very global and general - you know, basic ideas about what Behavioral Health is, and some of the more basic ideas, guidelines, responsibilities, etc. During these presentations there were a few times (two in specific that I want to talk about), that surprised me.

The first was toward the beginning, where the instructor was just talking in general about what behavioral health is, and she read a quote from someone...she could have quoted Jesus. The quote basically said how the greatest fulfillment in life is found in serving others. She paused to let it sink in. Then she repeated it. You could hear people all over the room sigh as the truth of it hit them. In my mind, I'm thinking, "Yeah, this is basic. I've known this for a long time." It's not that the truth of it is unimportant or boring to me - on the contrary, it is the cornerstone of my whole life! What was shocking to me was to realize that this was a novel concept to so many. Here, it was spoken slowly, and emphasized so that the full profundity of it could be recognized. I thought about how in church it is part of our DNA. We don't so much emphasize it as we speak of it in terms of something so fundamental, so completely grasped that we don't need to further explain it...It was interesting to see how far the church was ahead of the curve here.

The second thing was basically the last thing that was said before we were dismissed. Again, it was a statement intended for impact. This time, the truth of the statement elicited a "Here, here," from someone in the audience. We had been talking for the past hour or so about different service models, Motivational Interviewing, and Reflective Listening, and stuff like that, and how these various models can assist in our interactions with clients. Basically the last thing this instructor said was that we should remember that above all these models, the thing that will bring the most healing and wellness to our clients is the relationship we form with them. (This is what elicited the "here, here"). Again, the church was ahead of the curve on this one. We've been talking about this and practicing this for years in the church. It was just cool to see how God's design, God's way, the truth of scripture is universal. Whether they realize it or not, this secular organization is embracing Biblical principles in their attempt to serve...cool.

Specifics

So, Michawn says that I am not very specific in these blogs...so, here goes...

Michawn is a woman who lives in Brazil with her husband Joel, and four children, Grady, Hadley, Eissa, and Cass. They are doing missions work there, I actually don't know either Michawn or Joel very well (though from what I do know, I like them both a lot and admire them) , and the last time I saw them, they had one child, and one in the oven ('in the oven' is a sort of euphemism for 'pregnant'). We all used to attend Hope Chapel, a church of about 200 in Glendale, AZ. The pastor of Hope Chapel is Randy Helm. I also used to serve there as Youth Pastor until this past April.

The job which I referenced in my previous blog is 'Case Manager.' The organization I work for is LaFrontera Center, a behavioral health clinic in Tucson with over 50 different sites and facilities providing Psychiatric, Case Management, Employment, Crisis and Residential services to persons diagnosed with Mental Illness. I worked as a Case Manager in this organization before I moved to Phoenix, 3 years ago. My duration of employment at that time was 1 1/2 years.

I also used the 3rd person plural pronoun 'we' in my last post to refer to myself and my parents whith whom I am currently staying. We own a large brass spittoon into which we deposit unused monetary coinage, such as: quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies. Most likely there are a few pesos in there too, but there's no way to be certain without examining each coin in the spitoon.

Michawn, I will attempt to be more specific in the future. Thank you for bringing my lack of specificity to light. Anything else you would like clarification on?

Quick Update

Well, I know you two people who read this blog are waiting with bated breath for a daily update - so here it is.

Finished the second day of Orientation/Training. The last couple of hours were First Aid/CPR certification. So if you ever choke on something, or are bleeding to death, feel free to call me and I will save your life...I'm certified now. Getting more and more excited about just getting in there and starting to work. But I have training (not orientation) all day today and tomorrow. So Friday I'll probably actually get to my site, get somewhat settled in my office, etc., only to turn around and be gone all day Monday for another training. ::sigh::

I don't get paid until a week from this Friday, so I'm still a little strapped for cash. Last night I spent a good hour or so making coin rolls from this huge spittoon urn filled with change that we have. I rolled a hundred dollars worth of quarters - and there's still more in there! (I actually think that it's a spittoon, not an urn).

I lost another pound yesterday, putting me at 121.6 - 15 lbs down from when I started! 15 lbs is kind of a milestone, I think. I should celebrate with cake and ice cream!

I'm also attending the Wednesday night service tonight of the church I attended on Sunday (I actually tried about three different versions of that previous sentence, and this one STILL feels awkward). I'm really excited. It seems to be a very good church and I'm looking forward to seeing what the service will be tonight!

'Nother day, 'nother dollar

So, today is day 2 of orientation, followed by about a week and a half of training before I actually start to do my job! Still, it's good. I've met some cool people already, a few of whom will actually be working at the same site as me (or is it, "the same site as 'I' "). Anyway, it's nice to know that I am in the "gainfully employed" category again.

Oh, and I weighed myself this morning - 222.6 lbs! That's 14 lbs since I started a little over a month ago. I'm happy. I'm actually now starting to see and feel the difference. I'm using the next notch on my belt, my shirts are fitting a bit more nicely. AND, and I can't stop thinking about this church I attended Sunday. It was incredible! I guess after four months of limbo, it just feels like everything is sort of "clicking" all of a sudden in my life - work, church, a sense of purpose and excitement, meeting new people...Life is good.

Good Day

So I visited a new church today and LOVED it! The church was in a storefront setting, and seated 80-100 people (maybe less) and it was PACKED! Only a few seats open in the whole place. It was a nice feeling. The worship was wonderful. Very lively, very spirited. The worship team was good, even though the equipment/sound system was somewhat sub-standard. The congregation was WAY into it, too, which was so awesome. There was plenty of vocalizing going on beside just the singing (people shouting praises, praying out loud, etc.). I sang at the top of my lungs and could barely hear myself because everyone else was singing. It was great to experience loudness coming from the CONGREGATION instead of the sound system!! The sound actually wasn't that loud.

After worship, some teenagers got up to give testimonies about the things God had done at a recent conference (they never got around to saying what conference). The first kid got up and shared about how God had healed him over the weekend - of SCOLIOSIS!!! He talked about how a kid who was laying hands on his back actually shouted "Oh my God!" because he felt something move in his back. He mentioned how he was unable to bend over completely, and couldn't reach past his knees, but after this was able to reach his ankles for the first time in his life! It was really cool to hear a testimony like that. The next kid got up and talked about how he felt that God had delivered him from anger and depression (he called them demons). Other kids got up to talk about how God had moved in them, and through them. It was absolutely wonderful. They gave a good 20 minutes or so for them to testify! (The service lasted about 2 1/2 hours). The message was great, very challenging. Basically talking about the necessity of actually DOING SOMETHING with our faith. No one is called to sit in pew! They are also in the process of building a new building (that sounded weird in my head), which is very exciting. All in all I feel that this is a wonderful church, definitely more Pentecostal than any church I've attended in several years, and, honestly, it's refreshing.

I was actually so blessed by the service that I'm planning on calling them tomorrow just to tell them so, and I DEFINITELY plan on going back. I really am praying for a place to get "planted" if you know what I mean. I don't want to just "attend" a church, I want to become a "part" of a church; part of the family; plugged in; ministering where I am needed. I think I can see myself at this church...

A few things...

First...

I just finished the Pentateuch - it took about 4 weeks. I had calculated in my "Intensive Bible Reading Plan" that it would take about 3. So, I'm not too far off course. Tomorrow I start in Matthew and read through Acts. I'm excited about that! I don't think I've ever read through the Gospels at this pace before.

Second...

I weighed in at 224 today! Woohoo! My weight loss has definitely slowed in this second phase of the diet, but ultimately I'm still losing so I'm okay with it. The book says about 2 lbs per week is reasonable. I'm not sure I'm quite on that mark, but oh well. 12 lbs down since I started about a month ago!

Third...

I went to the Pastor's Class on Wednesday at the church I've been attending, and much to my surprise, I am less interested in this church now. Why? Theological reasons. It's not that the pastor taught any bad theology, I didn't agree with all of it, but there was nothing I would consider "false doctrine" or dangerous in any way. He ascribes to the Reformed tradition, which in general is very solid. But I guess it boils down to the fact that I'm sort of reconnecting with my Pentecostal roots, and I feel like I need a church where there is room for expression of those beliefs. I like very lively and expressive worship - where people feel free to express their worship however they like. ('Free' is an important word here, I guess.) I want a pastor who is both Biblically sound in what he teaches, but who also is not afraid to be passionate & animated in his preaching (I don't like preachers who 'perform,' but who genuinely get excited about what they are preaching). I want a preacher who is going to constantly challenge his church to live the way God commands, who isn't a fraid to be bold. I want to see the gifts in operation in the services. I want to be at a church where the people know how to seek God. So I guess I'm "on the market" again...

Last...

I start work on Monday! It will be nice to have something to do again - probably a lot less blogging come Monday! haha! It will also be nice to be making money again.

The for-real last thing...

I found a really nice house for rent online. It's actually a rent-to-own type of house. I'm going to go check it out soon. I really need about a month or more of paychecks to really get caught up on some stuff before I start thinking about that, so who knows if it will even be around then, but currently, I'm pretty excited!

Weight Loss Adventure - Week #4

So I'm heading into week four of the South Beach diet. I started the diet weighing 236.6 lbs, and I weighed in today at 225.6. 11 lbs in 3 weeks is pretty good! Hopefully I continue to lose at about the rate of 2 lbs per week. At that rate, it'll take about six months for me to get to my goal weight.

I've been working out too. About 3-4 times per week. Mostly upper body stuff (I think that's typical of most guys). But even in this short time I've seen improvements there as well. I've had to increase the weight/resistance on some of the exercises by up to 10 or 15 lbs. I guess that means I'm actually getting some muscles again. That's nice. So hopefully, six months from now I will be a slimmer, more muscley, sexy dude! Okay...that actually creeped me out to say it...

Catching Up

I talked to an old friend last night. It was wonderful to catch up. It's been maybe two years since our last communication, and it was clearly long overdue. There are definitely some interesting dynamics in our relationship that I'm still working through, some emotional scars, some relational hiccups.

I hate to admit it, but there seems to be always an air of skepticism in me when we talk. I'm never quite sure what to think about the things he says. I'm always curious about what's behind his words, what's going on in his brain as he says the things he says. I've always acknowledged that these suspicions may very well be nothing more than some sort of strange paranoia, but they are not without reason. I have felt somewhat manipulated by him in the past, and it really hurt.

Last night we talked a lot about my recent and unfortunate adventures in ministry - namely, my being jettisoned from my position at Hope Chapel. It was ultimately a very encouraging conversation. My friend, and my old pastor, were both very supportive and expressed a great deal of genuine concern that was greatly appreciated. My pastor related in a letter how he had experienced similar things in his years of experience in ministry, and that as ministers we are in good company with those who have gone through similar rejections. That was encouraging. Even Jesus, the perfect minister, was rejected, thrown out of synagogues, accused falsely, etc. Thus, what might appear to be a severe setback, may actually be a part of God's plan, one of the many mysterious ways that the Lord deals with us, matures us and strengthens our faith. But then...

Then came the suspicion again. My friend made a strong plea, sincere as I believe it was, for me to come to NY for a "sabbatical." A time for me to simply get away and seek the Lord and to do some ministry at his church, all in an environment where I could be free. Though this actually does sound wonderful to me, there are several things that are standing in the way of this becoming a reality.

He said several times that He felt that "the Lord would be in it." I've heard similar words before. Basically it means that he feels that the Lord has spoken to him about this, and thus the truth of it (from his perspective) is ironclad. Placing spiritual implications on "suggestions" usually heightens these "suggestions" to a prophetic level. This means that if I fail to act on this "suggestion," then it is basically equivalent to me being disobedient to "the word of the Lord." Why is this a problem? Because God didn't speak this to me. My friend feels that God spoke to him about something that I should do. He sincerely asked me to pray about it. I am. And I will continue to do so. But if I happen to come down on the side of not going to New York (which frankly seems more likely), then I run the risk of getting a sort of spiritual cold shoulder from my friend. This has happened before as well. He feels something from the Lord about what I should do. I don't do it. He feels like I "missed the Lord," and thus all our future conversations are tainted with a sense of disappointment from him.

I say all this, knowing that my friend is being 100% sincere. He is concerned for me. He wants God's best for me and I feel nothing but appreciation for it. But several years ago God dealt with me. I had harbored an unwholesome need for approval from this friend, and from this pastor. I NEEDED them to see me and feel like I was smack dab in the center of God's will. Then God dealt with me, much the same way as he dealt with Peter in John 21. Peter gets upset about what the Lord says to John, and Jesus basically says, "Don't worry about John, Peter. You follow me. Let me worry about John." So I've come to that place. I'm just going to follow Jesus. I am always open to suggestions, but I can't follow suggestions - I have to follow the Lord.

You know, there are a lot of sheep in flock, who only ever follow the tail in front of them. It's been said that if one sheep walks off the edge of a cliff, there's a good chance the whole flock will follow him over. But then there are those few who, instead of following the tail in front of them, listen instead for the Shepherd's voice. I want to be one of those few. There's a lot of sheep to follow. And sometimes you've got to listen real hard to hear the Shepherd's voice over all the bleating. But it's worth it, because the Shepherd will never lead you astray...

Some pictures...

The groomsmen.

Dave (the groom) on the floor. From left to right: Brian, Steve, me trying to lick Steve, John (the brother of Dave, and best man), Phil.

The groomsmen swinging their vests in the air. I'm on the far left (you can't see my face, but it's me).

Me dancing on the far left.

Me dancing.

Phil gettin' down!
Brian gettin' down!

Holly and Dave - the happy couple.

Me eating chicken wings. Mmmmm...

The fabled garbage plate! Mmmmmm??

Slight Sertback

So, as I figured, this trip set me back a few pounds, but nothing huge. I think I gained back 3 lbs from the 10 that I lost. Then I lost another 2 yesterday. But, I mean, c'mon! I had to have some chicken wings...and a garbage plate...and a couple of delicious brownies at the Bachelor party, oh and a couple hamburgers, oh yeah and some pizza, and one morning I had pancakes...

So no biggie.

Back

So I'm back from NY. The trip was AWESOME! Saw old friends. Made new ones. Saw the old stompin' ground. Cookouts. Swimming. Tons of food. (I swerved off of my diet a bit). Chicken wings. Garbage plate. Wine. Beer. Dancing. You heard me right. I danced. Hard. Sat at the head table (that was a blast - first class service). Lots of hanging out. Lots of fun. I think I'll do it again next weekend!

Almost 3am....

So I just got home from NY (an hour to Boston, a two hour layover that turned into three, 5 hours in the air, an hour of getting lost in an unfamiliar part of Phoenix, and two hours back to Tucson). I can't sleep...Actually, by NY time, it is almost 6am for me...

One week down...

So, first of all, I'm going to stop weighing myself daily, and I am going to switch to one or two times per week.

I weighed in at 230.0. That's 6.6 lbs in one week! Not too shabby. Of course I was at this weight three days ago. But, clearly the diet is working. I don't feel like I'm being deprived of anything, really. I have the occasional craving for a piece of bread, or a bagel or something. But other than that, it's been great. I've actually eaten some great meals so far. Different stuff. Stuff I probably would never have eaten had it not been for this diet.

The diet touts that most people lose 8 to 13 lbs in the first two weeks. I've lost almost 7 already, so I guess I'm right on track (even if the weight loss has slowed a bit). I'm a little concerned about this week, since I am going to NY on Thursday, and it is going to be much more difficult to stay on the diet while I'm there. But I am definitely going to try and make healthy choices. So we'll see what damage I do to my weight in NY...

Book-a-Week challenge

So my first book may or may not count. I read the South Beach Diet book. Not necessarily the most enriching or fascinating book, but definitely pertinent to my life currently.
I have a feeling that commenting on the quality or literary specifics of the book would be futile, and boring, frankly. It's a good book if you are planning on going on the diet. How's that?

The next book I am reading, or rather, re-reading is The Practice of the Presence of God. It's small, so it won't take tons of effort to get through it. I'll let you know in a week!

Delicious!

It seems impossible, but this diet has turned me into a chef. I cook every day, sometimes more than once. And the weirdest part - I'm enjoying it...

So I just made a recipe from one of the South Beach cookbooks and it was OUTSTANDING! And super healthy!!! I figured I'd pass it on with a few of my own suggestions...

Mexican Chicken Soup

Prep Time: 10 min --- Cook Time: 15 mintues

1 tablespoon canola oil (I used olive oil)
1 small onion, chopped
1 jalapeño pepper, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons cumin
5 cups lower-sodium chicken broth
1 1/2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 2-inch strips
2 cups mild refrigerated fresh salsa.

Heat oil in large saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and jalapeño; cook, stirring often, until veggies are tender, 5 min. Stir in garlic and cumin; cook 30 seconds more.
Add broth, increase heat to high, and bring to a rapid simmer. Add chicken and cook until no longer pink, about 3 minutes. Stir in salsa, bring back to a simmer, season with salt and pepper to taste, serve hot.

Okay here are my suggestions...

More veggies. Chopped celery, green onions (as a garnish), maybe a little cilantro.
I used ROJO'S© Fresh Cut Salsa Medium Southwest Fire Roasted (scrumptious -- does saying "scrumptious" make me sound gay?)
Also, tortilla strips would be PERFECT!

Try it, you will love it (it has a kick)!

...

Okay, so my weight went up again...Once again, it was minimal - 230.8 lbs (another .4 lbs up), but what the heck! This is why you're not supposed to weigh yourself every day, I guess...

This was actually surprising, since I ate next to nothing yesterday. No breakfast. A late lunch. No dinner (just the way the day went). Oh well. Maybe I'll get out of the '30's tomorrow.

Jeff's Devotional Blog

I created a new blog to record my more spiritual musings. Check it out...

http://jeffsdevotionalblog.blogspot.com/

Wrong Direction!

So I weighed in at 230.4 this morning! Though it's minimal, it's the wrong direction!! I was hoping to break out of the '30's today. No such luck. Well, I anticipated a little fluctuation. And here it is...

My Business...

...doesn't exist yet. But soon.

Yes, I am thinking about going official and starting a Web Design business. I will be going to school for web design in the fall, and am really looking forward to that. I sat down tonight and thought through all the stuff that I would actually need to successfully design websites professionally. Here's what I came up with...

A Mac Book Pro (and I'll probably buy a separate monitor for desktop use). About $2,500 (insert "cha-ching" sound).

Adobe's Creative Suite 3.3 Web Premium software package which includes: Dreamweaver, Flash, Photoshop Extended, Illustrator, Fireworks, and a few others. About $1,600.

Really that's it. Not a lot of overhead in a web design business. Everything is virtual! But it looks like it's going to take about $6,000 to get what I need. Anyone feel like donating??

Spiritual lessons from dieting...

So I've been on a diet now for less than a week. It's not exactly a rigorous diet, but there are some significant restrictions (though only for the first two weeks). Basically the idea is no bread, pasta, rice, fruit, cereal, etc. Nothing that is high in carbohydrates. The theory is that most people are overweight because they've trained their bodies through constant abuse to process sugars poorly. Anyway, I digress.

I notice pretty much every night after dinner that familiar desire to have something sweet. A piece of pie. A scoop of ice cream, or whatever. In the past, I would indulge so long as the sweet stuff was available. But now, I am having to consciously resist those cravings.

I have realized that the difficult part is not the loss of the specific food, but rather the loss of freedom. I have to be more intentional now. I have to be vigilant, aware, constantly cognizant of what I allow into my body. I am no longer free. Or rather, I have willfully stripped myself of some freedoms to achieve a greater benefit. I wish I could be this vigilant in my relationship with God! How often do we simply do whatever comes into our mind to do. How often do we abuse our spirits with the "sweeties" of the world (Narnia reference). We know we shouldn't. We know that they will only bring us harm, but we figure that this one indulgence won't be so devastating.

That's what is hard about Christianity. We have to give up some freedoms in order to serve Christ. We don't like thinking about that, necessarily, but it's true. We have to give up our freedom to sin. Even harder, we have to give up our freedom to define sin for ourselves. This is a big one in our culture. We have to give up our freedom to choose what we want to do with our lives. Every day we are called to make sacrifices. Small ones, big ones. Sometimes HUGE ones.

I am reading Practicing the Presence of God. It is one of the most challenging books I have ever read. Brother Lawrence talks about three types of union with God: "the first is habitual, the second virtual, and the third actual." Here's his basic definitions of the three. Habitual union refers to the union all Christians share with God. We are unified with Him through grace, through the blood of Christ. Virtual union is basically temporary union. Say, through prayer, or a time of worship. We experience union with Him for the duration of that action. Then, we sort of "part ways." Actual union is a constant, unbroken abiding in the presence of God. In Lawrence's words, "[this union is] more intense than fire, more luminous than the sun in a clear sky."

That kind of abiding would take some serious sacrifice. As Lawrence puts it, it requires the exclusion of every distraction, no matter how small. How many of us would be willing to give up EVERY distraction in our lives?? Is blogging a distraction?

Yet of how much more worth will it be to hear my Father say, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into your rest," than to weigh 175 lbs???

The Mighty Randomthought #3

Email Grammar.

does it bug anyone else how some people refuse to use caps or punctuation for that matter in emails i for one cant stand it im a bit of a grammar nazi anyway and so when i get an email that looks like this i just want to pull my hair out

Okay, enough of that! Seriously, what is the deal with this total disregard for any sort of grammatical formatting. No caps, commas, periods, apostrophes - not even paragraph breaks! It makes it really hard to read, and for some strange reason I always find myself reading emails like this in a low monotone voice in my head without any pauses or breaks. Try it. It somehow seems to fit.

This phenomenon also exists in the text messaging world. Though I get that it is harder to text at lightning fast speeds if you have to hit the caps button, or find the right punctuation, but who cares?!?!? I always go back through a text message to insert commas and periods and apostrophes, etc.

The worst part is that it seems to be intentional!! It almost seems like it's somehow cool to refuse to use punctuation in an email. It's not that these people don't know how to use punctuation, they simply choose not to. Personally, I had to do a lot of backspacing in that little section above to change capital letters, to erase commas and periods. I simply cannot email like that. To this is an awful trend. What's next?

arewegoingtostartemailinglikethistoeachotherwhynotiteliminatesonemorekeyonthe
keyboardthatwedonthavetouse

And that's all for now...

Another Day....

One more day of stickin' with it. Weighed in at 230.0 this morning (only .4 lbs less than yesterday - lame!). The book says that you should lose 8-13 lbs in the first two weeks, and I've lost over six in less than one week! I guess I'm doing pretty good. Maybe my body is evening out now.

There and Back Again...

So I've decided to brush the cobwebs and dust away, and reopen this old blog Amusing Musings, basically because I don't like the MySpace blog very much.

---------

So my friend Scott put out a challenge to read roughly one book a week, and I'm going to accept that challenge. I'm also going to give a counter-challenge.

Recently (and completely unrelated to the above challenge) I decided to begin an Intensive Bible Reading plan. I emphasized Intensive because once I started doing it, I realized that it really wasn't that intensive - 20 to 30 min. per day of reading. I kind of developed it myself based on my own queerness and distaste for most Bible reading plans. Most plans employ either a front-to-back method, which is sensible, but you end up spending the first 3/4 of the year in the OT. There are also chronological plans, which are actually very cool, but with the same problem. There are plans out there that call for a few OT verses, a few NT verses, and a few verses in the Psalms or Proverbs or something. This seems better, but usually ends up being sort of disjointed and it becomes difficult to follow because you are reading from 3 or 4 places every day.

My plan groups sections of the Bible together so that you follow a particular theme through to it's conclusion (the Pentateuch, the Gospels and Acts, Paul's letters, etc.). It bounces back and forth between Old and New Testament sections, so that every few weeks you will be reading bits from both. It also recommends reading bigger chunks of scripture than most reading plans (like 8-10 chapters at a time, instead of 2 or 3 chapters at a time). This idea was prompted by the realization that we would almost never read any other book at the rate of 2-3 pages a day, generally. Many people sit down with a novel and will read 100 pages or more in a night! So why do we feel the need to read so little of God's Word every day?!?!

So here it is. In this plan you will get through the Bible in a little over 5 months. You could read the Bible twice through in a year, and have about a month's break in between (maybe study up on some of the more difficult passages??).

Rule: Read 8-10 chapters per day

Reading Breakdown:

• Pentateuch: approx. 3 weeks
• Gospels and Acts: approx. 2 weeks
• Early History - Promised Land thru David (Joshua - 2 Samuel): approx. 2 weeks
• Middle History - Solomon thru the Exile (1Kings - 2Chronicles): approx. 2 weeks
• Late History - Return from Exile (Ezra - Esther): 3 days (a book per day)
• Paul's Books (Romans - Philemon): approx. 10 days
• Hebrew Poetry (Job -Song of Solomon): approx. 4 weeks
• Major Prophets (Isaiah - Ezekiel): approx. 3 weeks
• Minor Prophets (Hosea thru Malachi): approx. 1 week
• Apocalyptic Books (Daniel & Revelation): approx. 1 week

I like simple, and I think this plan is simpler than most. There isn't a "daily reading schedule." Read 8-10 chapters until you're through the section, then move on to the next. If you only read 4 one day, no sweat. If you get really into it and end up reading 15 chapters, awesome!
The other unexpected benefit from this has been that I feel more focused. I realized that 2 or 3 chapters is about what it takes for me to get into "reading mode." I have trouble focusing at first (as usual), but after 2 or 3 chapters I'm clear and focused. It's great!

Any takers?!