Sad but True...

The mental health field is an unusual one. The longevity for someone working as a Case Manager is, on average, something like six months. The ones who stay longer usually become supervisors. I'm back in this field again after about a three-and-a-half year hiatus, and when I tell people that I worked as a Case Manager previously for about a year and a half, they usually seem pretty impressed. Even my direct supervisor (who was just promoted about two weeks ago - the same time I started), has only a year of experience.

Three other new Case Managers started with me (and that's just our site), there were two who had been working there only two weeks when we started, two people were working their last day, and we're expecting at least one new Case Manager on Monday - if that gives you any sort of indication of how often things change in this field.

In fact, the field is always changing and evolving, and then de-evolving, and then going back to the thing it started with, then trying something completely different, so those three years away mean that there's a steep learning curve for me.

However, it's nice to know that after about six months, I will probably have a good chance of a promotion if I were to apply. Which, of course, I plan on doing.

Weigh In

I weighed in at 213.4 this morning - 23.2 lbs lost since I started in late June/early July (I can't remember).

I haven't been at this weight in like 5 years or something. Goal weight is 175, which means about 38 lbs to go.

A few more reasons why I like my new church...

WORSHIP:

1. There is total freedom of expression. Some people dance. Some people shout. Most lift their hands. And EVERYONE participates. (And by the way, there is no judgment on the person who chooses to worship without these expressions).

2. I can barely hear myself singing during worship - not because the music is so loud, but because the congregation is so loud!

3. Talented musicians, who play EVERY Sunday, and EVERY Wednesday without fail. No rotation. That's serious commitment.


PREACHING:

4. Solid, Biblically sound preaching.

5. The pastor is not afraid to challenge his congregation.

6. The preaching is enthusiastic and engaging.


THE YOUTH GROUP:

7. This church is about 1/2 the size of my previous church, and the youth group is about 3 times as big.

8. When I heard a few of the youth testify, it was clear that there was a depth of faith in them that is unusual among their peers, and it inspired me.

9. The teens always worship with all their hearts. Lifting hands, dancing, etc.


OTHER STUFF:

10. The pastor has a cool accent.

11. You can tell that God is moving in this church.

12. They're in the process of putting up a new building.

Relieved

Went to church today. It was good. No prosperity gospel crap. Good message. I was able to connect with a few people. I'm happy.

People noticed me the first two times I came, but didn't bug me (this is how I like it). One person remembered my name this Sunday (I was impressed). I got invited to a couple Home Groups. One guy invited me to lunch with him and his wife next Sunday. The pastor greeted me warmly and sincerely thanked me for visiting. I think I'm going to like this church.

The Mighty Randomthought #4

Answering cell phones.

It occurred to me the other day that I've developed a slight apprehension when answering a call on my cell phone from someone I don't know. I'm so used to knowing everyone who calls, and being able to see before I pick up who it is that's calling, that when an unknown number pops up, I'm like, "What do I do?!"

I do remember the days when you never knew who it was that was calling. Every time you answered the phone was a crap shoot. But it's been so long since those days, that I now experience a certain level of anxiety (slight, mind you) when I pick up the phone for an unknown call.

The other interesting thing, is that I've sort of reverted to that childhood difficulty of trying to figure out the right thing to say. Am I supposed to be businesslike, and say something like, "Hello, you've reached the Rossman residence"? For the last 3 years my cell phone was paid for by the church, and so I would always answer with a sort informal-yet-still-somewhat-businesslike-script: "Hello, this is Jeff." But now, I'm so used to saying, "Hey Scott," or "What's up Crystal," or whatever that just saying "hello," seems totally insufficient. What's more, I notice that I do it with an almost horror-movie-style questioning. I feel like I sound like the stupid teenage girl walking down the creaky stairs into the dark basement where she just heard a noise, and says, "Hello?" My "hello," voice sounds like a timid, slightly afraid person who's not quite sure there will be anyone on the other end to answer. Stupid technology...

Weight Loss Adventure

I weighed in at 216.4 today - 20.2 lbs! I haven't been below 220lbs in quite a while, so it I'm feeling pretty good about this. I've been cheating some, lately, too, so it's extra surprising that I continue to lose weight. I think being back at work is helping greatly, because I don't have the opportunity to be snacking all day long...

Book-a-Week challenge

So, I've been nowhere near 1 book per week, but I did just finish a book this morning. Lee Strobel's THE CASE FOR FAITH is an incredible book! Strobel is an athiest-turned-Christian, who made the decision after examining all the evidence for (and against) the truthfulness of the claims of scripture. Then he wrote a book called THE CASE FOR CHRIST.

THE CASE FOR FAITH tackles what he calls, "The Big Eight," which he calls the "soft spots" of the Christian faith. These eight questions plague Christians and non-Christians alike. The Big Eight are:

1. If there's a loving God, why does this pain-wrecked world groan under so much suffering and evil?
2. If the miracles of God contradict science, then how can any rational person believe that they're true?
3. If God really created the universe, why does the persuasive evidence of science compel so many to conclude that the unguided process of evolution accounts for life?
4. If God is morally pure, how can he sanction the slaughter of innocent children as the Old Testament says he did?
5. If Jesus is the only way to heaven, then what about the millions of people who have never heard of him?
6. If God cares about the people he created, how could he consign so many of them to an eternity of torture in hell just because they didn't believe the right things about him?
7. If God is the ultimate overseer of the church, why has it been rife with hypocrisy and brutality throughout the ages?
8. If I'm still plagued by doubts, then is it still possible to be a Christian?

I think every Christian (every person for that matter) has struggled with a least a few of these questions, and Strobel tackles them all by interviewing various scholars, experts, etc. The interviews he does are very honest and straightforward, if not sometimes a bit heady (these are tough philosophical questions). Sometimes the answers are a little unsatisfying - this actually made me like the book more. God doesn't wrap everything up nicely with a pretty bow. But ultimately I think every chapter contains valuable information and insight for the tough questions of the faith.

I give it two thumbs up. Go out and buy it. Or take it out from the library. Or borrow it from a friend. Just read it.

A Little Better

So work has been...umm...interesting...this week. I still don't have a desk, or office, or computer, phone, etc. Usually I would think this would be something they figure out before the new people get there. But so far, none of the four of us who started last week have a space to do our work. The side-effect of this is simply that we are incapable of DOING OUR JOB!

Well, today, we got our keys, and so now we actually have access to the buildings and don't need to ask other people to open doors for us. I attended a staffing today, which made me feel like part of the team - that was a nice change of pace. Hopefully tomorrow I get an office....

A little disappointed :(

So church today was ... alright. I re-visited the church I visited last week. I had a WONDERFUL time there last week. The worship was fantastic. The message was convicting and challenging.

I was a little less impressed this week.

The worship was still very good, but only a few minutes into the preaching, and I was starting to get nervous. The first thing he said that I flatly disagreed with, was a statement that basically said that when we preach the gospel to someone, and they don't embrace it, it's because we did something wrong. He said, "If they knew what we knew, they wouldn't be able to stay away!" The only problem: even JESUS did not have a 100% success rate, and I don't think we're willing to say that He screwed up! Jesus clearly said that "some seed fell by the wayside." Sometimes we preach and it has no effect, it never takes root. It sucks, but it's the reality of it. Not too long after that, and he was heavy into the Prosperity Gospel. He basically said that the thing that would look appealing to unbelievers about the gospel, is if we are living in perfect health, having all our needs met financially, and having every relationship in perfect working order. He said that this was what Jesus meant when He prayed, "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." And that's basically where he sat, and the platform he preached from for the next 40 minutes or so. He made some wild claims along the way - that Job sinned in his thinking and brought all those things upon himself - that Jesus was extremely wealthy (umm...Matt. 8:19-20).

The only good news...this wasn't the pastor of the church (he's in South Africa), this was the pastor's father-in-law. So, I haven't given up yet! I still believe this is a good church. I surely hope that this isn't a frequent topic in this church. I am being reminded of the many reasons I kind of distanced myself from Pentecostalism in the past.

::sigh:: I'm disappointed...

Shucks

It was the scale...I had a cup of coffee then gained about 10 lbs!! Haha! 224. Up a little bit. I guess I've got some work to do...

Surprised

So, I weighed myself this morning - 214.2 lbs!! I'm not exactly sure how that happened, and I'm almost skeptical that my scale is going screwy, but until I find that out, I'm pretty happy. That's 22.4 lbs since I started six or seven weeks ago!

The Church is Ahead of the Curve

I had an interesting experience yesterday while at an all day training for my new job. It was sort of an Orientation/Training, and so a lot of what we talked about was very global and general - you know, basic ideas about what Behavioral Health is, and some of the more basic ideas, guidelines, responsibilities, etc. During these presentations there were a few times (two in specific that I want to talk about), that surprised me.

The first was toward the beginning, where the instructor was just talking in general about what behavioral health is, and she read a quote from someone...she could have quoted Jesus. The quote basically said how the greatest fulfillment in life is found in serving others. She paused to let it sink in. Then she repeated it. You could hear people all over the room sigh as the truth of it hit them. In my mind, I'm thinking, "Yeah, this is basic. I've known this for a long time." It's not that the truth of it is unimportant or boring to me - on the contrary, it is the cornerstone of my whole life! What was shocking to me was to realize that this was a novel concept to so many. Here, it was spoken slowly, and emphasized so that the full profundity of it could be recognized. I thought about how in church it is part of our DNA. We don't so much emphasize it as we speak of it in terms of something so fundamental, so completely grasped that we don't need to further explain it...It was interesting to see how far the church was ahead of the curve here.

The second thing was basically the last thing that was said before we were dismissed. Again, it was a statement intended for impact. This time, the truth of the statement elicited a "Here, here," from someone in the audience. We had been talking for the past hour or so about different service models, Motivational Interviewing, and Reflective Listening, and stuff like that, and how these various models can assist in our interactions with clients. Basically the last thing this instructor said was that we should remember that above all these models, the thing that will bring the most healing and wellness to our clients is the relationship we form with them. (This is what elicited the "here, here"). Again, the church was ahead of the curve on this one. We've been talking about this and practicing this for years in the church. It was just cool to see how God's design, God's way, the truth of scripture is universal. Whether they realize it or not, this secular organization is embracing Biblical principles in their attempt to serve...cool.

Specifics

So, Michawn says that I am not very specific in these blogs...so, here goes...

Michawn is a woman who lives in Brazil with her husband Joel, and four children, Grady, Hadley, Eissa, and Cass. They are doing missions work there, I actually don't know either Michawn or Joel very well (though from what I do know, I like them both a lot and admire them) , and the last time I saw them, they had one child, and one in the oven ('in the oven' is a sort of euphemism for 'pregnant'). We all used to attend Hope Chapel, a church of about 200 in Glendale, AZ. The pastor of Hope Chapel is Randy Helm. I also used to serve there as Youth Pastor until this past April.

The job which I referenced in my previous blog is 'Case Manager.' The organization I work for is LaFrontera Center, a behavioral health clinic in Tucson with over 50 different sites and facilities providing Psychiatric, Case Management, Employment, Crisis and Residential services to persons diagnosed with Mental Illness. I worked as a Case Manager in this organization before I moved to Phoenix, 3 years ago. My duration of employment at that time was 1 1/2 years.

I also used the 3rd person plural pronoun 'we' in my last post to refer to myself and my parents whith whom I am currently staying. We own a large brass spittoon into which we deposit unused monetary coinage, such as: quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies. Most likely there are a few pesos in there too, but there's no way to be certain without examining each coin in the spitoon.

Michawn, I will attempt to be more specific in the future. Thank you for bringing my lack of specificity to light. Anything else you would like clarification on?

Quick Update

Well, I know you two people who read this blog are waiting with bated breath for a daily update - so here it is.

Finished the second day of Orientation/Training. The last couple of hours were First Aid/CPR certification. So if you ever choke on something, or are bleeding to death, feel free to call me and I will save your life...I'm certified now. Getting more and more excited about just getting in there and starting to work. But I have training (not orientation) all day today and tomorrow. So Friday I'll probably actually get to my site, get somewhat settled in my office, etc., only to turn around and be gone all day Monday for another training. ::sigh::

I don't get paid until a week from this Friday, so I'm still a little strapped for cash. Last night I spent a good hour or so making coin rolls from this huge spittoon urn filled with change that we have. I rolled a hundred dollars worth of quarters - and there's still more in there! (I actually think that it's a spittoon, not an urn).

I lost another pound yesterday, putting me at 121.6 - 15 lbs down from when I started! 15 lbs is kind of a milestone, I think. I should celebrate with cake and ice cream!

I'm also attending the Wednesday night service tonight of the church I attended on Sunday (I actually tried about three different versions of that previous sentence, and this one STILL feels awkward). I'm really excited. It seems to be a very good church and I'm looking forward to seeing what the service will be tonight!

'Nother day, 'nother dollar

So, today is day 2 of orientation, followed by about a week and a half of training before I actually start to do my job! Still, it's good. I've met some cool people already, a few of whom will actually be working at the same site as me (or is it, "the same site as 'I' "). Anyway, it's nice to know that I am in the "gainfully employed" category again.

Oh, and I weighed myself this morning - 222.6 lbs! That's 14 lbs since I started a little over a month ago. I'm happy. I'm actually now starting to see and feel the difference. I'm using the next notch on my belt, my shirts are fitting a bit more nicely. AND, and I can't stop thinking about this church I attended Sunday. It was incredible! I guess after four months of limbo, it just feels like everything is sort of "clicking" all of a sudden in my life - work, church, a sense of purpose and excitement, meeting new people...Life is good.

Good Day

So I visited a new church today and LOVED it! The church was in a storefront setting, and seated 80-100 people (maybe less) and it was PACKED! Only a few seats open in the whole place. It was a nice feeling. The worship was wonderful. Very lively, very spirited. The worship team was good, even though the equipment/sound system was somewhat sub-standard. The congregation was WAY into it, too, which was so awesome. There was plenty of vocalizing going on beside just the singing (people shouting praises, praying out loud, etc.). I sang at the top of my lungs and could barely hear myself because everyone else was singing. It was great to experience loudness coming from the CONGREGATION instead of the sound system!! The sound actually wasn't that loud.

After worship, some teenagers got up to give testimonies about the things God had done at a recent conference (they never got around to saying what conference). The first kid got up and shared about how God had healed him over the weekend - of SCOLIOSIS!!! He talked about how a kid who was laying hands on his back actually shouted "Oh my God!" because he felt something move in his back. He mentioned how he was unable to bend over completely, and couldn't reach past his knees, but after this was able to reach his ankles for the first time in his life! It was really cool to hear a testimony like that. The next kid got up and talked about how he felt that God had delivered him from anger and depression (he called them demons). Other kids got up to talk about how God had moved in them, and through them. It was absolutely wonderful. They gave a good 20 minutes or so for them to testify! (The service lasted about 2 1/2 hours). The message was great, very challenging. Basically talking about the necessity of actually DOING SOMETHING with our faith. No one is called to sit in pew! They are also in the process of building a new building (that sounded weird in my head), which is very exciting. All in all I feel that this is a wonderful church, definitely more Pentecostal than any church I've attended in several years, and, honestly, it's refreshing.

I was actually so blessed by the service that I'm planning on calling them tomorrow just to tell them so, and I DEFINITELY plan on going back. I really am praying for a place to get "planted" if you know what I mean. I don't want to just "attend" a church, I want to become a "part" of a church; part of the family; plugged in; ministering where I am needed. I think I can see myself at this church...

A few things...

First...

I just finished the Pentateuch - it took about 4 weeks. I had calculated in my "Intensive Bible Reading Plan" that it would take about 3. So, I'm not too far off course. Tomorrow I start in Matthew and read through Acts. I'm excited about that! I don't think I've ever read through the Gospels at this pace before.

Second...

I weighed in at 224 today! Woohoo! My weight loss has definitely slowed in this second phase of the diet, but ultimately I'm still losing so I'm okay with it. The book says about 2 lbs per week is reasonable. I'm not sure I'm quite on that mark, but oh well. 12 lbs down since I started about a month ago!

Third...

I went to the Pastor's Class on Wednesday at the church I've been attending, and much to my surprise, I am less interested in this church now. Why? Theological reasons. It's not that the pastor taught any bad theology, I didn't agree with all of it, but there was nothing I would consider "false doctrine" or dangerous in any way. He ascribes to the Reformed tradition, which in general is very solid. But I guess it boils down to the fact that I'm sort of reconnecting with my Pentecostal roots, and I feel like I need a church where there is room for expression of those beliefs. I like very lively and expressive worship - where people feel free to express their worship however they like. ('Free' is an important word here, I guess.) I want a pastor who is both Biblically sound in what he teaches, but who also is not afraid to be passionate & animated in his preaching (I don't like preachers who 'perform,' but who genuinely get excited about what they are preaching). I want a preacher who is going to constantly challenge his church to live the way God commands, who isn't a fraid to be bold. I want to see the gifts in operation in the services. I want to be at a church where the people know how to seek God. So I guess I'm "on the market" again...

Last...

I start work on Monday! It will be nice to have something to do again - probably a lot less blogging come Monday! haha! It will also be nice to be making money again.

The for-real last thing...

I found a really nice house for rent online. It's actually a rent-to-own type of house. I'm going to go check it out soon. I really need about a month or more of paychecks to really get caught up on some stuff before I start thinking about that, so who knows if it will even be around then, but currently, I'm pretty excited!